By a (virtual) show of hands, how many of you can hardly believe this coming weekend marks the end of January? Amongst those hands, who has felt completely overwhelmed, stressed, and like they’ve fallen short in this past month and beginning of the New Year? Yep. I’m right there with you.
It seems that the second the clocks strikes midnight on January first, this mentality of a fresh start with room for positive change and big goals comes into play. Which, of course, is a great mentality to obtain. But it’s also a mentality with some seriously high standards. As I mentioned here, I easily fall into the trap of ‘getting things done’ in the New Year. I quickly become the victim of the thought that if I don’t get things done, then I am failing. So, I start to believe… if I don’t get all our files organized in one day, if I don’t have all my blog content perfected by a certain date, if I can’t keep up with my Bible reading, and if I can’t make myself chug that darn green smoothie every morning then welp – I’m a big old loser and what was the point of setting these goals in the first place?! Toxic, isn’t it.
Why do I do that to myself? Where is there grace in all of that? Quick answer: there isn’t. So why do I, and I’d venture to say we as women, not see that there is grace in the imperfection of not magically changing our lives the moment the calendar tells us to? We dream and scheme these big goals and yet leave no room for growth. No room for failure. And if there is failure, then we just plain give up.
I’ve been discussing this concept with some of my closest girlfriends lately. Admitting that I was feeling this way, and then them admitting the same. Praise God for girlfriends. Sharing in the fact that every time we saw something on social media about ‘New Year, New You’ or ‘Hustle’ or ‘#GetItDone’, we decided that we, too, must tenaciously jump on board.
Again, I will reiterate that getting things done is certainly not a bad thing. I personally believe that there is so much merit to buckling down and accomplishing tasks. See the photo above! I did get those files organized and I did launch this blog within a timeframe I was proud of, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t behind on my year of reading the bible. What just doesn’t sit well with me is my fear of falling behind in those tasks. And you know what also doesn’t sit well? The fact that those ‘go get ’em’ mentalities I’m buying into seem to be all up to me and don’t leave an ounce of room for Jesus.
Oh man. There it is. This lightbulb realization that we simply cannot do it all without Jesus. We’re not perfect. We can self-motivate, self-love, self-promote all day, everyday and we still won’t be able to feel the grace that we receive with Jesus. We just weren’t created to do this without Him. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for Your grace. Thank you for dying on the cross for us so that we don’t have to do it all. Thank you for the truth that if we fail, You will rescue us. Whether it’s in our daily tasks or our deepest sins.
Ways I need to show myself more grace lately: this blog, my never-ending to do list, my desire to get back into the shape I was in pre-wedding, friendships that are changing or drifting, allowing myself to continue to grieve my sweet brother whom I painfully miss every single day.
Do you need to be showing yourself some serious grace? Is it your Whole 30 diet you started? Is it in your singleness? Your job? Being a wife? Being a mother? Your relationships? Friendships?
We need grace. We all need grace. My prayer for you as readers this weekend and beyond is that you would see areas called out in your life where you need more grace. Amen? Amen.